Urdu Jokes - Funny SMS

Father: Baita Jawo mairay lie 1 glass Pani Le awo

Son: Abbu main game khail raha hon, mai nahi ja sakta

2nd Son: Abbu Ye tu hai hi Batameez, Ap khud ja Ke Pee lain...

Girl to Shopkeeper: Koi aisa "Valentine Card" hai, jis par lekha ho "may sirf owr sirf tum say pyaar karti hon"??

Shopkeeper: Haan g hai

Girl: Acha tu aisay 5 cards daina ....

Bikhaari: Aray Baba Kuch De do Boht Bhooka hon

Sardar100 rupay nekalty howe bola: 50 rupay hain tumhary pas?
Bikhaari (Khush hote howe): Han g hain

Sardar: Acha tu pahlay wo kharach kar lo ...

Wife & Husband Bazar mai Ja rahay thay
Tu 1 Faqeer Ne kaha: Shehzaadi 10 rupay de dain, mai andha hon
.
Husband: Paisay de do, Tumhay Shehzadi keh raha hai Tu zaroor andha hoga   

A man came to know about affair of her with other boy
He decided to kill his wife and also kill himself.
.
Apnay kaan par pistol lagayi to uski bewi hansnay lagi to wo bola:
"Tu zyada khush na ho, agla number tera hay"

1 bacha khait say aalu nikalnay mai Dada ki help kar raha thaa
.
.
.
boht thak giya tu bola:
"ap ne yai sab akhir zameen may dabaye he kio thay?"  

1 Larki Namaz Parh kar Shaadi ke leye Dua Mangny Lagi Tu Sharma Gayi owr kehnay Lagi “Ae Allah Main Apni Leye nahi mangti bas Ammi ko 1 Khubsorat Damaad De den”
.
Pata Hai Kia Howa?
.
Kuch din baad Us ki Choti Behn ki Shadi ho gayi
.
Moral: Duaawon mai dramay nahi Karnay Chahie    

Shaadi ki raat Husband confuse hogiya
Ke bewi se kya bolon..!!
.
Akhir woh bola
.
Ap ke ghar walon ko maloom hay,
Ke aap yahan mairay sath ho??   

Ek choti si bachi Dukandaar se: Uncle jab mai bari ho jawongi Tu ap mujh se shadi karengay?

Dukandar ne Mazak se Kaha: Haan

Bachi: Tu aap apni hone wali wife ko 1 free chocolate nahi do ge?  

Nikah ke baad...
Dulha: Molvi Sahib Nikah Parhwany ke apki Fees kitni hai?
Molvi: Dulhan Ki Khubsurati ke Mutabiq De do
Dulha nay 10 rupey deye, achanak hawa ka Jhonka aya owr dulhan ka ghoongat hat gia
.
Molvi: Aray bhai baqi Paisay tu le lo.....